21 December 2014

Father Christmas made me cry!

No, not like that. I used to be terrified of him in fairness but I'm a grown up now and he doesn't scare me anymore. Well not as much. 

Last weekend we took Luca to see Father Christmas for the first time and I got all emotional.  I did manage to keep it together, just about, but as the Elf walked us down the hallway, chatting to Luca and then opened the door and ushered him in to see the big man, my eyes welled up and I got a bit of a lump in my throat.  

I never expected it to be such an emotional experience but thinking about it how can it not be. Christmas is such a magical time for children and Luca's first visit to the big man reminded me of the exciment, anticipation and wonder that surrounded Christmas for me as a child. As Luca warily walked into the room and saw jolly old St Nick sat there waiting for him, his face lit up and I know it's a moment neither myself nor Anthony will forget. 

The Father Christmas we saw was a lovely gentleman, who looked very authentic, (as you can see in the picture) and really made the whole thing even more special. I was excited about Christmas this year with Luca anyway as it's the first one he seems to really understand, but now I'm beside myself and determined to make ever Christmas as special as I possibly can. I want to keep the magic alive and that look on his face for as many years as possible. 

Merry Christmas everyone! 

9 December 2014

Mummy guilt

This little man is quite simply my best friend. He makes me laugh every single day without fail, harder then some people have ever made me laugh, and brings me so much joy I can't even begin to tell you.

Recently though I've begun to feel like I am failing him.  It is completely ridiculous as I know, in my heart of hearts I am absolutely not but still it's there.

In September I started a new job and with it started working another day a week.  Since I went back to work after my maternity leave I always worked three days a week but now I'm working four.  Since this change I have been absolutely riddled with mummy guilt and these feelings of parenting failure. 

Luca has hated this change and now begs me on a morning not to go to work, even just writing that sentence breaks my heart.  I find some solice in watching him run off into our childminders without so much as a backwards glance. Knowing he loves his time spent there makes it much easier for me to leave him but doesn't ease any of the guilt I feel every morning when I have to answer his pleas with the answer he doesn't want to hear.

He now spends more days a week being looked after by other people than he does being looked after by me, his Mummy, and that literally tears me to pieces. 
Along with begging me not to go everytime we get in the car, he has also started sleeping badly again.  He shouts for me when he stirs in the night which I'm putting down to some seperation anxiety.  

Working four days has also meant that one of the days we have off together is spent doing a weekly food shop and any other chores that need doing, leaving us only two days a week to spend time together.  Two!!!  I'm not liking that whatsoever. I quite honestly would be a SAHM until he went to school if that was a realistic option for us but it's just not. 

Next on the mummy guilt list is nutrition. I  feel like with all the extra demands I'm under now with the new job and amount of travelling I do, I've let our eating habits slip and Luca isn't eating anywhere near as well as I used to ensure he did. I have recently made sure I've tackled this and hopefully we are back on track as a family. 

I'm am a mum who tells other mothers that guilt is a wasted, pointless feeling and we are all doing only our best, and I absolutely, wholeheartedly believe it. So it's a bit of a contradiction that I am then overflowing with it myself and cannot seem to shake it, no matter what I'm internally screaming at myself and other people are telling me. 

I'm praying it eases soon as I'm not sure how much more I can handle. It's absolutely soul destroying and I'm sick of it.  I've just taken some new clients on meaning I now have a lot less travelling than previously, giving me a little bit of breathing space between finishing work and picking up Luca. I also drive past two supermarkets on my way home so fingers crossed this will make my life just that little bit easier. 

Until then, anyone have any suggestions of how to get rid of it? 

Me & Mine Catch Up

I have fallen behind massively with this here blog.  I have half finished blog posts from summer that I just never got around to finishing and I've missed lots of Me & Mine photos despite making an effort to capture them.  Our last one was way back in July!!! 

So here are our catch up photos, as although I haven't posted them we have been taking them, well I say that, we are missing one for September.  That is one thing I am grateful to this project for, drilling it into me to take more photos of us as a family as we now have some wonderful photos of us all together. 

So here they are:

We had a wonderful two weeks off as a family in August, and although we didn't get to go on holiday, as in sun and sea, we made the most of our time together and went on lots of days out together.  I managed to get loads of photos of us as a family and I've got two photos for this month as I couldn't narrow it down any further.
This one was taken at a playground where we all messed around for ages just playing and being kids together.

The second, was taken at York Maze in the finger print maze. Luca loved trying to find all the colours and we again were having so much fun.  

14 November 2014

I've got the Fever!

As your probably aware I very rarely write fashion related posts. In fact I think I've only ever done it once before.  There isn't really a reason for this and it is something I would like to do more often, so what better way to get the ball rolling than with the gorgeous dress I wore last weekend for Vicki's birthday

I, along with the other beautiful ladies that attended her birthday meal, were all very kindly gifted a dress by Fever London and didn't we all look absolutely fabulous in them (am I allowed to say that?).

Me, Hannah, Zaz, Vicki, Mirka & Katie
 All of Fever London's designs, whether their dresses, seperates or workwear are all influenced by original vintage fashion, so as a lover of all things vintage, especially clothes (did you see my wedding)  this brand is perfect for me. I've already got my eye on a few other pieces I love, I am definitely a fan.

After perusing the site a number of times I finally settled on this Athens Dress.

I teamed it with a silver statement necklace that my husband bought me from a boutique in Skipton (just before he proposed to me), a wire heart ring and some killer black and silver heels from New Look. 
Nipped in at the waist this dress is a flattering fit yet so comfortable, even after eating enough to feed me for the month.

Simple yet chic, it's so versatile.  It can be easily dressed up or down for any occasion and I just know it will be a dress I come back to again and again. In fact I'm already thinking about wearing it for my surprise date night next week and how I should style it.

As you can see from above, the other ladies all looked stunning, in fact, drop dead gorgeous in their choices too.  Catering for 6 ladies all with very different personal style with only one brand should  be a challenge but Fever London literally have something for everyone and managed to pull it off.

The birthday girl herself looked absolutely beautiful as usual.

I'm pretty sure we were the best dressed that night by a mile and we all felt a million dollars whilst celebrating the wonderful Vicki's birthday. 
Thank you Fever London.

*disclaimer* I was very kindly sent this dress to wear for the night but all words and opinions are my own.

13 November 2014

Food, Fizz & Friends

When I first started this blog I never really thought it would be anything other than a place to record our memories as a family. However, alongside Twitter it has allowed me to connect with some truly amazing and inspirational ladies. Some of these ladies have gone on to become friends and last weekend I was invited to join Vicki (who blogs over at Honest Mum and Mummy's Got Style) to help celebrate her birthday and blogiversary along with these beauties; Katie (Pouting in Heels), Hannah (Mums Days), Zaz (Mama and More) & Mirka (All Baby Advice).  

from left to right; Vicki, Hannah, me, Mirka, Zaz, Katie
In all honesty I was a little nervous about this blogger get together. I have met Vicki & Katie a few times before but never the others.  I can't quite put my finger on why I was nervous but it turns out I had absolutely no need to be.  Together we all had an absolute blast.

We all convened at Vicki's parents house to do some posing in our beautiful outfits (which were very kindly gifted to us by Fever London, more on that tomorrow with photos of us all looking gorgeous) and generally do what bloggers do, take photos! Before long the volume was raised as we all laughed and chatted away.  

After we had all bagged our shots we headed over to The Olive Tree, which is owned by Vicki's parents.  Sipping glasses of our preferred poison, rum and coke in my case, we all got nattering and apart from to laugh we didn't stop nattering all night.
Once we sat down for our meal the champagne started flowing and we did some more posing.  Mirka & Zaz were serenaded by George, the resident musician.  You can't blame the man for trying can you, they are both beautiful ladies.

2 October 2014

Scarecrow Trail

Last weekend we took a family trip to Kirkhamgate just down the road from my house for the annual scarecrow trail. We have never been to this particular one before and it did not disappoint. 

With 53 different scarecrows scattered around the village to find we spent a good few hours wandering the streets and guessing which ones were which.  

The theme for the year was Films and each scarecrow came with it's own clue just in case you couldn't guess it. There were only a two we didn't know. One we eventually worked out but the other we still can't get. Any guesses? 

Luca really enjoyed spotting ones that he recognised like this Monsters Inc one and others he didn't particularly know but looked appealing. 

26 September 2014

Some Me Time!

I very rarely get any me time. Just time to do something I want to do, alone!  Ok so not necessarily alone, maybe with friends or the husband but definitely sans child.  
I love my little boy dearly but we all know how important me time is.  

Well this week I got some well deserved, overdue me time and it couldn't have been any better. 

On Tuesday, after a full days work (and a tough one at that) I didn't have to get in my car and drive home. Instead I got in my car and headed for the stables!  My passion for horses and riding has taken a back seat since becoming a mum and the times I have ridden I have had Luca with me and it's not been quite the same. I love his interest for horses and his natural ability with them but to have some time with just my best friend Ashleigh, and our equine companion was lovely. 

I got to ride without Luca hollering at me and nagging to get on and I enjoyed every stride and every rise during my trot! 

12 September 2014

We haven't disappeared!

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog post. We had two weeks off together as a family and I'm not sure if you remember (or even care) but I recently got a new job and the past 2 weeks have seen me fully immersed in it, it's been a bit of a baptism of fire, so I've been fairly busy of late.

My new job has been utterly exhausting and quite intense but I have definitely enjoyed it.  I feel like I'm doing a job I'm actually good at, doing something productive, constructive and making a small difference in the world to a few children.

The new job means we now have a whole new weekly routine with an extra day of work for me. This is taking me a while to get the hang of and adjust to which is another reason why my blog has been hugely neglected.  Basically life had got in the way. 

I'm hoping to be back soon though as I have so many posts to get written, until then be good! 

13 August 2014

Holi One Festival

The first day of our summer holiday was spent child free together at the Holi One festival in Leeds, with one of my old college friends who I haven't spent any quality time with for absolutely ages, Steph.

Set in the grounds of the beautiful Harewood House in Leeds, the Holi One festival is based on the colourful Holi festival in India where people colour each other with abeer and gulal and throw it in the air.  This tradition of colouring each other and throwing paint powder is adopted by the Holi One festival and therefore to make the most of the colourful celebration everyone is asked to turn up in white clothing.  

Looking windswept in our clean white clothes before the paint was thrown. Luckily they were giving away bandanas with drinks at the bar so that saved my hair from the wind. 

The Holi One festival however has the added bonus of music and the English festival vibe thrown in.  We turned up to a small fenced off area that the festival was set within. In all honesty, when we turned up we were a bit disappointed, I think we had all been expecting a larger setting and a bigger event.  Once the festival got going though and the atmosphere took off we had so much fun.   

4 August 2014

Living Arrows - Cress

Apart from paintings stuck to the fridge, nothing screams "I have a child" more than a little decorated pot of cress sat on your kitchen windowsill? 

Luca brought his first (of many I'm sure) pot of cress home on Thursday and within just a couple of days we already have little sprouts (?) of the stuff popping up. Can't wait for it to really take off and we will make egg & cress mayo together and hopefully put it in sandwiches to take on a picnic on our summer holiday if the weather picks up again. 

If you had of told me that I would be excited over a little pot of cress growing on my windowsill before I had Luca I would have thought you were seriously insane but being a mum does strange things to you and I can't wait to make use this cress in our food. After all, it's Luca's own little bit of horticulture in our kitchen and a right of passage for every child.

living arrows